I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize