Say something about gay babies.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
