Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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