what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
