I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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