Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
