So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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