we have pet lesbian snakes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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