Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
