my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You smell like stripper and shame
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
