I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
