Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
