If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
