You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
