I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize