I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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