Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
