you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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