She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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