return my video game
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
