About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
