the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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