You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
