i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
