covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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