I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
