ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
