"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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