Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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