Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
