My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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