hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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