Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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