it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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