Sponge bath it is.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
