how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
