One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I queefed so loud it echoed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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