Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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