It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
