I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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