I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
