It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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