i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
