Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
