i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
