if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize