i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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