I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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