We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
