I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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