He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
