Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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