honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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