Kiss
Puke
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize