Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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