I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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