I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My dick has a subreddit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
