Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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