No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
