If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
