Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
