Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
