Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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